Originally posted 9/13/19
Actually, she didn't. But I know that every day can't be filled with unicorns and rainbows. I mean, come on..unicorns don't exist (insert tears here) and rainbows only show up after the dark, rainy moments anyway.
All of this to say that today has been kind of blah for me. For no specific reason at all. I woke up irritable and have found myself falling into victim mentality. I'm annoyed by everything, and find myself blaming other people for my feelings, ("If that person wouldn't have been so irritating, I would be fine right now.") Ridiculous, right?
So, once I figured out that this was on ME and took responsibility for my feelings (I didn't happen right away, trust me), I decided to just let myself feel allll the cranky feelings. Luckily, I had an opportunity to take time alone to do this...I certainly didn't want to keep projecting onto others. So, I sat and stewed in my "misery".
Then, guess what! I felt better. Once I acknowledged my feelings and allowed them to be there, instead of fighting them and trying to force them away, they eased up. I'm not going to say that I was fluttering around with the ease of a butterfly, but I wasn't about to bite someone's head off for speaking to me either. Improvement, I'd say!
I even got my homework done that I've been procrastinating doing for two days. And, I'm writing a blog post!
So, the moral of the story is that we are human. Allow yourself to be that, with all of its ups and downs and hormonal swings and children that try to irritate you.
Feel the feelings that come up for you. Really. FEEL THEM. It is so against my nature to do that...what I am inclined to do is pretend they don't exist so I can feel great immediately/all the time. But it doesn't work that way. We have to feel things, otherwise we aren't getting the full human experience. So allow that experience in your life. I promise, it makes it fuller.
Once you feel it fully and let it take up the room inside you that it craves, it'll start to lessen and, eventually, diminish entirely. It doesn't last forever. And then we get to experience the joys that much more intensely because it feels so damn good to feel better.
Feel the things.
Sending lots of love dearies.